ESPN.com: Page 2 - What a year it was
Jim Caple is a genius.
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
By Jim Caple
Page 2
The Yankees, the Lakers and the U.S. men's basketball team were all humiliated short of a championship. The biggest plays in the NFL were Justin Timberlake's illegal use of the hands and Nicollette Sheridan's piling-on. There was a riot between fans and players even though the NHL isn't playing this season.
And in the most amazing event of all -- the Red Sox won the World Series, a feat that still seems difficult to believe even though Boston fans haven't shut up about it for one minute since it happened.
In fact, with so many strange things going on, you might have forgotten these moments in between deciding whether to take the Cream or the Clear ...
Jan. 1: Hundreds of thousands gather in Times Square to ring in 2004 in traditional fashion by toasting the new year and then dumping their champagne on Ron Artest.
Jan. 4: Following Louisiana State's victory over Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl and USC's victory over Michigan in the Rose Bowl, there is a split decision in the national championship. The BCS declares LSU the national champion and the AP declares USC, though both agree that Colorado is the No. 1 Party School.
Jan. 6: By upstaging the Hall of Fame election of Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley with a poorly timed admission that he bet on baseball, Pete Rose cripples his chances for ever being inducted into Cooperstown. All is not lost for Rose, however -- the wig Tom Sizemore wore in "Hustle" is placed on display in the Museum of Natural History.
Jan. 11: Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck becomes the subject of national ridicule in Seattle's playoff game against the Packers when he tells the referee at the start of sudden-death overtime that "We want the ball and we're going to score and then we're going to go on to Carolina and New York and New England and we're not going to stop until we get to the Super Bowl -- YEEOWWWLLLL!!"
Jan. 19: Howard Dean finishes a disappointing third in the annual Arkansas Razorbacks Hog-Calling contest.
Jan. 25: Aaron Boone suffers a season-ending injury during a pickup basketball game when he ill-advisedly throws his Gatorade on Ron Artest.
Feb. 1: A half-dozen viewers and the FCC are offended during the Super Bowl broadcast when Nicollette Sheridan bares her breasts and leaps into the arms of Terrell Owens.
Feb. 16: The Yankees trade for Alex Rodriguez, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays Hays, Roy Hobbs, Nuke Laloosh and Ted Williams' frozen head.
Feb. 18: In sealed testimony to the BALCO grand jury, Jason Giambi credits his dramatic weight loss to the Atkins diet.
Feb. 29: The Red Sox get off to a bad start when the Academy Awards snub Johnny Damon for his role in "The Passion of the Christ."
March 8: In one of the most appalling and brutal incidents of player violence in sports history, Vancouver Canucks forward Todd Bertuzzi cowardly attacks his unsuspecting opponent by skating up from behind and throwing a beer on Ron Artest.
March 10: NHL commissioner Gary Bettman responds swiftly and harshly to Bertuzzi's brazen attack by locking out the entire hockey league for the rest of the year and the 2004-2005 season as well.
March 15: Pete Rose's bad year continues when he picks Stanford to win the NCAA Tournament in the office pool.
March 23: North Korea officials claim that Kim Jong II shot a 38 with five aces on a course in Pyongyang.
I'm not making that up, by the way. That is what they actually claimed. They also insist that Kim Jong II averages three or four holes-in-one a round, though they refused to confirm whether the course includes a windmill and swinging barn doors.
April 7: The UConn Huskies complete an unprecedented run, winning the men's NCAA basketball championship, the NCAA women's basketball championship and the Iditarod.
April 12: Phil Mickelson shoots an electrifying 31 on the back nine, birdies the final hole and rallies from two strokes down to catch and pass Ernie Els at Augusta. Alas, Mickelson finishes a distant second in the Masters, losing to Kim Jong II by 128 strokes.
April 13: Barry Bonds homers to tie Willie Mays for third place on the all-time list, and in a stirring, emotion-filled ceremony at home plate, the Say Hey Kid greets his godson with his latest shipment from BALCO.
April 15: The first season of the monstrously popular "The Apprentice" draws to a close when Donald Trump fires Tyrone Willingham.
April 20: A federal appeals court rules that Maurice Clarett cannot leave Ohio State for the NFL because it would require a cut in salary.
April 25: Prior to the NFL draft, Archie Manning demands that the San Diego Chargers trade the draft rights to his son, Eli, to the Yankees.
May 12: The FCC receives a dozen angry complaints from viewers enraged that from 11 a.m. until 2:16 p.m. on May 8, not a single TV channel was showing poker.
May 19: Despite his continuing gaunt appearance, Jason Giambi claims that he hasn't lost weight, it's just the slimming effect of the Yankee pinstripes.
June 5: More bad news for Pete Rose. He places his entire $1 million advance from "My Prison Without Bars" on Smarty Jones to win the Belmont and complete the Triple Crown.
June 16: The Pistons celebrate their upset over the Lakers in the NBA Finals in the traditional fashion -- by having Detroit fans spray champagne on their opponents.
June 23: During the Kobe Bryant rape hearings, Kobe testifies that he witnessed Karl Malone making a pass at the victim.
July 18: Just seven months after qualifying for his PGA card, Cinderella story Todd Hamilton beats Ernie Els in a four-hole playoff at Royal Troon but finishes 142 strokes behind British Open champion Kim Jong II.
July 24: Ricky Williams abruptly retires from football to pursue other career options, including an acting role opposite Cheech Marin in "Up in Smoke 3."
July 27: Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France for the sixth consecutive year and is presented with the highest award in cycling -- the coveted yellow Livestrong bracelet.
July 31: During testimony at his rape hearing, Kobe accuses Peyton Manning of making touchdown passes to his wife, Vanessa.
August 13: The Summer Olympics open in Athens with a security force of 45,000 -- or slightly smaller than the U.S. men's basketball team's posse. The security force successfully keeps the competition venues completely free of terrorists, political protestors and fans.
August 14: The U.S. men's basketball team loses to the Washington Generals.
August 15: Kim Jong II completes the grand slam by winning the PGA championship, then marries Elin Nordgren.
August 18: A dramatic return to the original site of the ancient Olympic Games goes terribly awry when, in keeping with ancient Olympic codes, the female shotputters insist on competing in the nude.
August 21: The U.S. men's basketball team loses to the Beach Volleyball Bikini Dancing Team.
August 23: President Bush takes credit in a campaign ad for the Iraqi soccer team, saying his policies are responsible for them reaching the medal round. In a related development, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth say John Kerry is responsible for the U.S. men's basketball team.
August 24: The International Gymnastics Federation requests that "in a show of sportsmanship" swimming champ Michael Phelps give one of his six gold medals to the Korean gymnast "because it would mean so much to him and you won't even notice it's gone because you still have so many."
August 25: The U.S. men's basketball team loses a pickup game against Aaron Boone.
Sept. 1: With the war in Iraq worsening and the presidential campaign tightening, Americans desperate for real news are relieved when rape charges against Kobe Bryant are suddenly dropped, thereby allowing networks to double their reporters assigned to the Laci Peterson case.
Sept. 5: His weight loss having now left him lighter than air, Giambi simply floats away and is not seen again the rest of the season.
Sept. 19: A bullet strikes Kyle Denny in the leg during a drive-by shooting but the Cleveland pitcher is saved from injury by the knee-high white boots he is wearing while dressed as a cheerleader as part of a rookie hazing ritual.
By the way, this actually happened.
Sept. 20: A national guardsman asks Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld why there aren't enough knee-high cheerleader boots for all the troops in Iraq.
Sept. 24: In another crushing blow to Boston's championship hopes, Pedro Martinez learns he was adopted.
Oct. 3: Peyton Manning throws three more touchdown passes, and inexplicably, also sets the major-league record for base hits in a season.
Oct. 16: After routing the Red Sox 19-8 in Game 3 of the ALCS, the Yankees go home early to rest up for the ticket-tape parade.
Oct. 17: Peyton Manning is finally slowed down when he throws only two touchdown passes during the Colts' bye week.
Oct. 19: Curt Schilling beats the Yankees in Game 6 of the ALCS despite third baseman Bill Mueller and shortstop Orlando Cabrera having to play out of position in an extreme shift while operating the pitcher's dialysis machine.
Oct. 23: As the Red Sox and Cardinals open their historic World Series, George Steinbrenner fumes about the poor turnout at Yankee Stadium.
Oct. 27: The highlight of the entire sports year unites fans around the country and sends New Englanders singing and dancing into the streets -- the Red Sox win the World Series of Poker. In a related development, Satan barely escapes the swiftly advancing glaciers in Hell by moving his base of operations to the regional office on 161st Street in the Bronx.
Nov. 2: President Bush is narrowly re-elected thanks to last-moment campaigning by Mack Brown's brother and the Big 12 coaches.
Nov. 19: The nation is appalled by one of the most notorious incidents of player-fan violence in sports history when a riot breaks out in Detroit after Nicollette Sheridan leaps on an unsuspecting Ron Artest.
Nov. 21: Amid accusations of fraud and intimidation, the BCS declares Viktor Yanukovych the new president of Ukraine.
Nov. 25: Hundreds of thousands line the streets of New York to watch the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and its newest lighter-than-air balloon: Jason Giambi.
Dec. 1: Anna Benson goes on Howard Stern and tells the radio host and his national listening audience that if she ever catches her husband, pitcher Kris Benson, cheating on her, she'll have sex with the entire Mets team, including the coaches, trainers and bat boys.
She really said that, by the way.
Dec. 2: Eli Manning demands a trade to the Mets.
Dec. 5: The final BCS standings come out amid more controversy when Halliburton gets the bid for the Rose Bowl.
Dec. 7: Notre Dame athletic director Kevin White fires Bob Cratchit.
Dec. 19: Terrell Owens suffers a season-ending spinal injury while filming a promotion for ABC when Jim Belushi leaps into his arms.
Dec. 21: New York's proposed 29-team trade for Randy Johnson falls apart when Bud Selig refuses to let the Yankees expand their roster to 725 players.
Dec. 22: Vice-president Dick Cheney brokers a last-minute compromise to salvage the Expos' move to Washington: D.C. agrees to pay the entire cost of a new stadium but Halliburton gets the no-bid contract to build the ballpark, now estimated to cost $68 billion.
Dec. 23: At the annual BALCO Christmas party, employees receive their annual year-end grand jury subpoenas while sipping eggnog topped with the Cream.
Dec. 24: With nothing to complain about, millions of fans throughout New England sit around not knowing what to do with themselves.
Dec. 25: The Kobe-Shaq rematch on Christmas Day is disrupted when Kobe accuses his wife, Vanessa, of kissing Karl Malone dressed as Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe. "They didn't hear me creep down the stairs to have a peek," Kobe tells reporters, "They thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom, fast asleep."
Dec. 26: A naked Nicollette Sheridan leaps into Peyton Manning's arms, giving him the NFL scoring record.
Dec. 31: The sports year comes to an end as hundreds of thousands gather in Times Square for the tradition of watching Jason Giambi drop 12 more pounds.
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com
12.28.2004
12.27.2004
The Origin of a Christmas Tradition
sent by my mom
Christmas Story
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Christmas Story
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
12.23.2004
Who's next for Barry Pepper?
Barry Pepper has now played Dale Earnhart (NASCAR) and Roger Maris (MLB) in movies.
Suggestions for who he tackles next:
NBA: Larry Bird - just curl the hair.
NHL: Wayne Gretzky - Bonus if he gets actress-wife Janet Jones to play herself.
NFL? Not sure who he'd play - Trent Dilfer? No great story there. Roger Staubach, maybe. I'm not sure who Pepper looks like, but it might not matter if he spends most of the movie in a helmet.
SOCCER: He could play Denis Bergkamp, but no one in the US knows who he is.
Suggestions for who he tackles next:
NBA: Larry Bird - just curl the hair.
NHL: Wayne Gretzky - Bonus if he gets actress-wife Janet Jones to play herself.
NFL? Not sure who he'd play - Trent Dilfer? No great story there. Roger Staubach, maybe. I'm not sure who Pepper looks like, but it might not matter if he spends most of the movie in a helmet.
SOCCER: He could play Denis Bergkamp, but no one in the US knows who he is.
12.20.2004
How to rescue the all-volunteer Army
Joey Galloway (the author) is the guy that co-wrote We Were Soldiers Once... And Young. The book, not the movie.
He's been a military correspondent for a long time, and knows a lot of people. He references several of them here. While he is reporting someone else's projects and proposals, it is clear that Galloway approves of these ideas, or he wouldn't be reporting them.
How do you save the Army? There are all kinds of ideas. My first step is to fire Paul Wolfowitz. Almost every controversy that Rumsfeld has had to publicly defend came from this lout...
He's been a military correspondent for a long time, and knows a lot of people. He references several of them here. While he is reporting someone else's projects and proposals, it is clear that Galloway approves of these ideas, or he wouldn't be reporting them.
How do you save the Army? There are all kinds of ideas. My first step is to fire Paul Wolfowitz. Almost every controversy that Rumsfeld has had to publicly defend came from this lout...
12.19.2004
Newcastle v Liverpool
Newcastle United
I'm such a goober. Everyone else is watching NFL pre-game shows; I get up early to watch Newcastle v Liverpool live on Fox Sports World.
My opinion: I could play defense for Newcastle right now. Most of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum could play defense for Newcastle right now. Their best defender is the end-line.
I'm starting to learn that being a Newcastle fan is like being a Red Sox fan, until this year. It's been over 30 years since Newcastle won a trophy. And with this defense... it could be another 30.
I'm such a goober. Everyone else is watching NFL pre-game shows; I get up early to watch Newcastle v Liverpool live on Fox Sports World.
My opinion: I could play defense for Newcastle right now. Most of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum could play defense for Newcastle right now. Their best defender is the end-line.
I'm starting to learn that being a Newcastle fan is like being a Red Sox fan, until this year. It's been over 30 years since Newcastle won a trophy. And with this defense... it could be another 30.
12.18.2004
Christmas Tunes
Songs I dig at Christmas:
It's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
Best contemporary Christmas tune, period.
This Christmas - Harry Connick, Jr & Branford Marsalis
What a groove!
All I Want For Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
Best song she ever did - better than any of her hit singles.
Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
This almost makes up for the rest of the crap they put out over the years.
Adam Sandler - The Haunnakah (sp?) Song
Technically not a Chirstmas song, but oh so funny.
Best contemporary Christmas tune, period.
What a groove!
Best song she ever did - better than any of her hit singles.
This almost makes up for the rest of the crap they put out over the years.
Technically not a Chirstmas song, but oh so funny.
Define "Foreign" Car
Don't put my flag on your foreign car" - seen on a bumper sticker... a few times
Now I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but these stickers are pissing me off.
Here's a quiz:
BMW Z4 - foreign or domestic?
Mercedes MLK series - foreign or domestic?
Dodge Stealth - foreign or domestic?
Chevy Tracker - foreign or domestic?
Chrysler Crossfire - foreign or domestic?
Honda Civic - foreign or domestic?
BMW Z4 - Built in Greenville, SC
Mercedes MLK series - Built in Alabama
Dodge Stealth - Built in the same Japanese factory as the Mitsubishi 3000GT
Chevy Tracker - A rebadged Suzuki Samauri
Chrysler Crossfire - Designed by Mercedes engineers in Germany
Honda Civic - Largest Honda plant in the world is in Marysville, Ohio
So how do you define "foreign"?
Now I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but these stickers are pissing me off.
Here's a quiz:
BMW Z4 - foreign or domestic?
Mercedes MLK series - foreign or domestic?
Dodge Stealth - foreign or domestic?
Chevy Tracker - foreign or domestic?
Chrysler Crossfire - foreign or domestic?
Honda Civic - foreign or domestic?
BMW Z4 - Built in Greenville, SC
Mercedes MLK series - Built in Alabama
Dodge Stealth - Built in the same Japanese factory as the Mitsubishi 3000GT
Chevy Tracker - A rebadged Suzuki Samauri
Chrysler Crossfire - Designed by Mercedes engineers in Germany
Honda Civic - Largest Honda plant in the world is in Marysville, Ohio
So how do you define "foreign"?
Morons, Molluts, and Idiots
There are several different kinds of stupid people.
When I was in the Army, we used to have "molluts": people who were so stupid they should be required to carry around a plant to replace the oxygen they use.
One mollut on the loose today is Mel Kiper, Jr. - the man with ZERO contribution to western society.
I was listening to ESPN radio today, and they were talking about The Sporting News' all-overated team. Based on TSN's criteria, overated players were first-round draft picks and pro-bowl players who didn't measure up, according to a panel of scouts and writers.
The QB was Joey Harrington. Kiper was trying to make the point that Harrington shouldn't be considered overated, because he's only been in the league a few years, and hasn't been considered "highly rated."
Uh, Mel - the point is that he was a top-3 pick in the draft. That's rather the definition of "highly rated."
When I was in the Army, we used to have "molluts": people who were so stupid they should be required to carry around a plant to replace the oxygen they use.
One mollut on the loose today is Mel Kiper, Jr. - the man with ZERO contribution to western society.
I was listening to ESPN radio today, and they were talking about The Sporting News' all-overated team. Based on TSN's criteria, overated players were first-round draft picks and pro-bowl players who didn't measure up, according to a panel of scouts and writers.
The QB was Joey Harrington. Kiper was trying to make the point that Harrington shouldn't be considered overated, because he's only been in the league a few years, and hasn't been considered "highly rated."
Uh, Mel - the point is that he was a top-3 pick in the draft. That's rather the definition of "highly rated."
Defense & Security News
Defense Tech
Along with several others, this is a really good site for military and security news.
While some of their stuff looks a little too far forward, it's still good. Think of it as WIRED for the defense industry.
Along with several others, this is a really good site for military and security news.
While some of their stuff looks a little too far forward, it's still good. Think of it as WIRED for the defense industry.
Redoing the Blog
New stuff ici en l'blog.
I've added the ability to add comments
I've now got title lines for the posts, tho I won't always use them
I've added some links on the right side, to share a few favorites with y'all
I hope y'all dig the renovations
I've added the ability to add comments
I've now got title lines for the posts, tho I won't always use them
I've added some links on the right side, to share a few favorites with y'all
I hope y'all dig the renovations
12.17.2004
National Debt
I got this from a friend. I don't know if it's legit or not. Someone check it out and get back to me.
A stack of $100 bills to equal 1 million dollars is 4 inches high.
A stack of $100 bills to equal 1 trillion dollars is ... uh ... 63 miles high!!!
And ... oh yeah ... the atmosphere is less than 30 miles high so even at 1 trillion dollars our national debt would be waaay into outer space. So now multiply that stack by 7 or 8 and you've got it. Ugh.
A stack of $100 bills to equal 1 million dollars is 4 inches high.
A stack of $100 bills to equal 1 trillion dollars is ... uh ... 63 miles high!!!
And ... oh yeah ... the atmosphere is less than 30 miles high so even at 1 trillion dollars our national debt would be waaay into outer space. So now multiply that stack by 7 or 8 and you've got it. Ugh.
Bored at Wal-Mart
Keith, you're a sick puppy:
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
12.16.2004
Frank Deford's on Drugs
Frank Deford is babbling again:
Here's the way it works. Teams start practicing in August and play a regular-season schedule into December ... whereupon 56 of them suddenly stop playing for a month or more, then play one more game. Imagine baseball taking a break after the regular season, then playing the World Series over Thanksgiving. But it's hunky-dory in college football because these made-for-TV shows are certified as "bowl games.
Uh, Frank - there's this little thing called "finals" that gets in between.
Listen people, we're not talking about the one guy on the team who's going to be a 4th round draft pick come NFL draft time. We're talking about the 3d string tight end who needs the 3.8 GPA to get into grad school. We're talking about the defensive lineman who's going to be a bank manager next year, and the gunner on the punt coverage team who's going back to his hometown to teach English at the high school. These guys need to take their tests.
And yes, the football team has a much greater "footprint" than the hoops team, or the lacrosse team, or any of the other teams that Deford whines about. The lacrosse team doesn't bring 150 band members to the games. There's no load of cheerleaders; no dance team. Total number of students whose academic lives are disrupted by lacrosse compared to football? You do the math.
It's not just about money.
Besides, why does Frank Deford care so much? If it bothers you that much... QUIT WATCHING!
Here's the way it works. Teams start practicing in August and play a regular-season schedule into December ... whereupon 56 of them suddenly stop playing for a month or more, then play one more game. Imagine baseball taking a break after the regular season, then playing the World Series over Thanksgiving. But it's hunky-dory in college football because these made-for-TV shows are certified as "bowl games.
Uh, Frank - there's this little thing called "finals" that gets in between.
Listen people, we're not talking about the one guy on the team who's going to be a 4th round draft pick come NFL draft time. We're talking about the 3d string tight end who needs the 3.8 GPA to get into grad school. We're talking about the defensive lineman who's going to be a bank manager next year, and the gunner on the punt coverage team who's going back to his hometown to teach English at the high school. These guys need to take their tests.
And yes, the football team has a much greater "footprint" than the hoops team, or the lacrosse team, or any of the other teams that Deford whines about. The lacrosse team doesn't bring 150 band members to the games. There's no load of cheerleaders; no dance team. Total number of students whose academic lives are disrupted by lacrosse compared to football? You do the math.
It's not just about money.
Besides, why does Frank Deford care so much? If it bothers you that much... QUIT WATCHING!
12.15.2004
Revisiting 1993 Bowl Games
There's a lot of whining going on right now over the BCS matchups. One of the inevitable comparisons is to 1993. There are a lot of revisionist historians trying to make the case that Lou Holtz's Notre Dame team should have played for the national title ahead of FSU, since both had lost a game but Notre Dame beat FSU head-to-head (ND lost the next week to BC). Nebraska, unbeaten and untied, was number 1. The issue was their opponent. And while FSU won the game to claim the title, the key in all of this was that FSU should never have been in that game.
Oh, and domers - Notre Dame shouldn't have been, either.
Who got screwed?
An UNBEATEN West Virginia team that was sent to New Orleans instead of Miami. We tend to blow off WV from '93 because they got pasted by Florida, but the WV players all admitted their heads weren't in the game after getting screwed by the Orange Bowl. On DEC 10th, 1993, WV was unbeaten and untied and had wins over Miami (8-3), Louisville (10-1), VaTech (10-2), and Pitt (8-3)... oh, and BC, too. Yes, the Mountaineers got pasted by the Spurrierators. But WV would've matched up much better with Nebraska in a face-off of pound-it-down-your-throat teams.
And don't forget, after it was all said and done, there was one major-conference unbeaten left holding the bag and no share of the national title: Terry Bowden's probation-saddled 11-0 Auburn Tigers, paying the penance for the sins of Pat Dye.
In one of the biggest BS decisions of the past 15 years (Colorado playing for the title instead of GaTech might be bigger...) FSU got into the game with one loss ahead of WV, who had NONE. Notre Dame didn't have a leg to stand on, either, since WV beat BC - and everyone else.
Oh, and domers - Notre Dame shouldn't have been, either.
Who got screwed?
An UNBEATEN West Virginia team that was sent to New Orleans instead of Miami. We tend to blow off WV from '93 because they got pasted by Florida, but the WV players all admitted their heads weren't in the game after getting screwed by the Orange Bowl. On DEC 10th, 1993, WV was unbeaten and untied and had wins over Miami (8-3), Louisville (10-1), VaTech (10-2), and Pitt (8-3)... oh, and BC, too. Yes, the Mountaineers got pasted by the Spurrierators. But WV would've matched up much better with Nebraska in a face-off of pound-it-down-your-throat teams.
And don't forget, after it was all said and done, there was one major-conference unbeaten left holding the bag and no share of the national title: Terry Bowden's probation-saddled 11-0 Auburn Tigers, paying the penance for the sins of Pat Dye.
In one of the biggest BS decisions of the past 15 years (Colorado playing for the title instead of GaTech might be bigger...) FSU got into the game with one loss ahead of WV, who had NONE. Notre Dame didn't have a leg to stand on, either, since WV beat BC - and everyone else.
12.11.2004
12.08.2004
CNN swings and misses
This story recently appeared on CNN.com. See if you tell me what the problem is with it:
England's lawyers lose crucial ruling
Prosecution allowed to use statements about Abu Ghraib abuse
From Susan Candiotti and Jim Polk CNN
FORT BRAGG, North Carolina (CNN) -- A military judge ruled Thursday that prosecutors can use two written statements by Pfc. Lynndie England describing incidents of physical abuse and sexual degradation of detainees at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.
The 22-year-old mother from West Virginia faces a court-martial at Fort Bragg in January. She is charged with 19 counts of assault, conspiracy, improper conduct and indecent acts, and could be sentenced to as many as 38 years in prison.
-snip 11 paragraphs-
Among those awaiting court-martial at Fort Hood is Spc. Charles Graner, the Abu Ghraib guard who attorneys say is the father of the baby boy England gave birth to seven weeks ago.
Now I'm not usually one to criticize media people for the way they do their jobs, especially since I study this stuff for a living and I've got a perspective on how they do what they do. But Candiotti & Polk, however well-meaning they may have been, really drop the ball on this one.
If you only read the first 2 paragraphs of this story, as many people probably did on the web, you get the impression the government is picking on some poor kid's mom for a mistake she might have made. they describe England as "The 22-year-old mother from West Virginia." Well, yes, she's 22, a mother, and originally from West Virginia.
She's also a mother who got pregnant by a married man with whom she fooled around while stationed in a combat zone. To simply describe her as a "mother" impugns the good name of mothers everywhere - the ones who didn't get pregnant by a married man while ignoring the proper rules of conduct for soldiers, and who aren't in jail for physically abusing other people.
You don't get a real sense of just how wrong it is that she's a mother in the first place. Until the 11th paragraph, you have no idea that she wasn't a mother before being deployed. Why is it relevant that she's a mother at all, given what she's accused of? Why not describe her as the "22-year-old Army reservist from West Virginia?" Are we looking to intentionally drum up some sympathy for the "22-year-old mother from West Virginia"?
Candiotti & Polk really blew this one. And they wonder why people think CNN is slanted...
England's lawyers lose crucial ruling
Prosecution allowed to use statements about Abu Ghraib abuse
From Susan Candiotti and Jim Polk CNN
FORT BRAGG, North Carolina (CNN) -- A military judge ruled Thursday that prosecutors can use two written statements by Pfc. Lynndie England describing incidents of physical abuse and sexual degradation of detainees at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.
The 22-year-old mother from West Virginia faces a court-martial at Fort Bragg in January. She is charged with 19 counts of assault, conspiracy, improper conduct and indecent acts, and could be sentenced to as many as 38 years in prison.
-snip 11 paragraphs-
Among those awaiting court-martial at Fort Hood is Spc. Charles Graner, the Abu Ghraib guard who attorneys say is the father of the baby boy England gave birth to seven weeks ago.
Now I'm not usually one to criticize media people for the way they do their jobs, especially since I study this stuff for a living and I've got a perspective on how they do what they do. But Candiotti & Polk, however well-meaning they may have been, really drop the ball on this one.
If you only read the first 2 paragraphs of this story, as many people probably did on the web, you get the impression the government is picking on some poor kid's mom for a mistake she might have made. they describe England as "The 22-year-old mother from West Virginia." Well, yes, she's 22, a mother, and originally from West Virginia.
She's also a mother who got pregnant by a married man with whom she fooled around while stationed in a combat zone. To simply describe her as a "mother" impugns the good name of mothers everywhere - the ones who didn't get pregnant by a married man while ignoring the proper rules of conduct for soldiers, and who aren't in jail for physically abusing other people.
You don't get a real sense of just how wrong it is that she's a mother in the first place. Until the 11th paragraph, you have no idea that she wasn't a mother before being deployed. Why is it relevant that she's a mother at all, given what she's accused of? Why not describe her as the "22-year-old Army reservist from West Virginia?" Are we looking to intentionally drum up some sympathy for the "22-year-old mother from West Virginia"?
Candiotti & Polk really blew this one. And they wonder why people think CNN is slanted...
Leadership and The Apprentice
I was watching a recap of the second Apprentice on TV the other day, and Andy (young guy, straight out of college) had made a comment early in the show about leaders:
"A leader has a right to be defeated, but never surprised."
He got it exactly backwards.
"A leader has a right to be surprised, but never defeated." Especially if he's a military leader.
This issue isn't how you win, it's that you win (Khobiashy Maru...) and if something surprises you, then deal with it an move on, but don't stop winning. It's virtually impossible to anticipate every permutation of every circumstance you could face (especially on the battlefield) but if you've got a good plan and a good staff, you can recover from curveballs to hit them out of the park.
Did I mix enough metaphors there?
"A leader has a right to be defeated, but never surprised."
He got it exactly backwards.
"A leader has a right to be surprised, but never defeated." Especially if he's a military leader.
This issue isn't how you win, it's that you win (Khobiashy Maru...) and if something surprises you, then deal with it an move on, but don't stop winning. It's virtually impossible to anticipate every permutation of every circumstance you could face (especially on the battlefield) but if you've got a good plan and a good staff, you can recover from curveballs to hit them out of the park.
Did I mix enough metaphors there?
12.07.2004
The French Bitch
Another emailed laugh:
The train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir,you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
The train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir,you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
Eating your way through the holidays
One more from the email archives:
Subject: EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Yahoo, what a ride!!!!"
Subject: EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Yahoo, what a ride!!!!"
Why your job is safe
we all love a little intellectual superiority
Sent by a friend
ONE.
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO.
I was checking out at the local Kmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE.
Several years ago, we had a junior who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. “What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Sent by a friend
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local Kmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had a junior who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. “What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Updating an earlier post with the actual BCS game participants (instead of anticipated ones) and some added analysis on the end
Let's assume that the BCS games land this way:
OU beats USC in the Orange Bowl
VaTech beats Auburn in the Sugar
Texas beats Michigan in the Rose
Pitt beats Utah in the Fiesta
oh, and for good measure, Cal destroys Texas Tech and Louisville wins the race to 70 against Boise St.
You now have one undefeated team left standing, but Texas, Cal, Louisville, Utah, Auburn and USC all with only one loss and some decent resumes.
Under a "plus one" scenario, who do the Sooners get next? And why?
If we're down to one undefeated team, we don't need a "plus one". If Auburn beats VaTech, everyone is screaming for a "plus one". But the "plus one" rule needs to be in effect ahead of time, and there's only been one year since the BCS started that "plus one" would've been relevant - last year.
Ohio State beats Miami;. OhioSt is the last undefeated left standing: who's their "plus one"?
Miami hammers Nebraska. Argue that Oregon should've been in that game, but afterwards, Miami is the only team left standing: who's their "plus one"?
Sooners beat FSU for the title. Argue if you want that they should've played Miami, but they're the only unbeaten left standing: who's their "plus one"?
FSU beats VaTech: who's their "plus one"?
Tennessee beats FSU: who's their "plus one"?
"Plus one" wouldn't solve a damn thing. It would just extend the arguments to the first week of January.
Let's assume that the BCS games land this way:
OU beats USC in the Orange Bowl
VaTech beats Auburn in the Sugar
Texas beats Michigan in the Rose
Pitt beats Utah in the Fiesta
oh, and for good measure, Cal destroys Texas Tech and Louisville wins the race to 70 against Boise St.
You now have one undefeated team left standing, but Texas, Cal, Louisville, Utah, Auburn and USC all with only one loss and some decent resumes.
Under a "plus one" scenario, who do the Sooners get next? And why?
If we're down to one undefeated team, we don't need a "plus one". If Auburn beats VaTech, everyone is screaming for a "plus one". But the "plus one" rule needs to be in effect ahead of time, and there's only been one year since the BCS started that "plus one" would've been relevant - last year.
Ohio State beats Miami;. OhioSt is the last undefeated left standing: who's their "plus one"?
Miami hammers Nebraska. Argue that Oregon should've been in that game, but afterwards, Miami is the only team left standing: who's their "plus one"?
Sooners beat FSU for the title. Argue if you want that they should've played Miami, but they're the only unbeaten left standing: who's their "plus one"?
FSU beats VaTech: who's their "plus one"?
Tennessee beats FSU: who's their "plus one"?
"Plus one" wouldn't solve a damn thing. It would just extend the arguments to the first week of January.
One-hit wonders?
OK, I admit it: I occasionally look around some P2P services for songs that are tough to find elsewhere, like iTunes. To be fair, in many cases I'm looking for stuff I have on cassette, but can't find on CD. I was looking for something like that last night, when searching for a few songs from Styx's Paradise Theater.
Now, if you're not familiar with P2P, let me explain something to you. When you search a P2P system, the results that pop up are often the actual file names as stored on the other person' computer. So you are often at the mercy of the intellect of the person cataloging the songs to properly ID them so you can find them. I can handle when a band gets mixed up, especially if someone confuses White Lion, Great White, and Whitesnake, because non-metalheads don't know any better.
Back to Styx: while looking for other stuff, I noticed one dork had labeled Mr. Roboto as "One Hit Wonders - Styx - MrRoboto.mp3". I almost snarfed my soda. Styx is not some obscure band that only had one hit single and lots of album sales. The list of hits singles is fairly long: Lorelei, Babe, Lady, Too Much Time On My Hands, The Best of Times, Don't Let It End, Renegade, Blue Collar Man, and about a half dozen more. Was this dork alive for anything before 1983?
I just thought I'd share.
Now, if you're not familiar with P2P, let me explain something to you. When you search a P2P system, the results that pop up are often the actual file names as stored on the other person' computer. So you are often at the mercy of the intellect of the person cataloging the songs to properly ID them so you can find them. I can handle when a band gets mixed up, especially if someone confuses White Lion, Great White, and Whitesnake, because non-metalheads don't know any better.
Back to Styx: while looking for other stuff, I noticed one dork had labeled Mr. Roboto as "One Hit Wonders - Styx - MrRoboto.mp3". I almost snarfed my soda. Styx is not some obscure band that only had one hit single and lots of album sales. The list of hits singles is fairly long: Lorelei, Babe, Lady, Too Much Time On My Hands, The Best of Times, Don't Let It End, Renegade, Blue Collar Man, and about a half dozen more. Was this dork alive for anything before 1983?
I just thought I'd share.
12.06.2004
Top 10 in the BCS:
USC
Oklahoma
Auburn
Texas
California
Utah
Georgia
Virginia Tech
Boise State
Louisville
Who's you're 4-team playoff? 3 undefeated (BCS conference) teams... who's number 4? Texas? Cal? Why not Utah? And if not Utah, why not Boise State? And if you only have a 4-team playoff, why do you have 6 different conferences involved?
So let's make it an 8-team playoff. Do you still leave out Boise State? What about Pittsburgh, the Big East champ? And if you're not going to have the conference champs represent their conferences in these games (no matter how weak they might be) then why bother with conferences? And why does Georgia get in when Tennessee was the SEC East rep to the SEC title game?
First: The BCS isn't perfect, but we could've had OU going to the Orange Bowl, USC in the Rose, and Auburn in the Sugar... and Utah in the Liberty. Texas in the Cotton, and VaTech in the Gator Bowl... Think back to 1989...
Everyone says "settle it on the field" but that "everyone" are pundits who have little, if any, real interest in College Football until this time of year (see: Lupica, Mike). They assume that everyone "wants" a playoff, but have't polled "everyone," or really anyone, to know one way or another. Is this really the biggest injustice in sports today? Is this all we have time to sit around and worry about?
USC
Oklahoma
Auburn
Texas
California
Utah
Georgia
Virginia Tech
Boise State
Louisville
Who's you're 4-team playoff? 3 undefeated (BCS conference) teams... who's number 4? Texas? Cal? Why not Utah? And if not Utah, why not Boise State? And if you only have a 4-team playoff, why do you have 6 different conferences involved?
So let's make it an 8-team playoff. Do you still leave out Boise State? What about Pittsburgh, the Big East champ? And if you're not going to have the conference champs represent their conferences in these games (no matter how weak they might be) then why bother with conferences? And why does Georgia get in when Tennessee was the SEC East rep to the SEC title game?
First: The BCS isn't perfect, but we could've had OU going to the Orange Bowl, USC in the Rose, and Auburn in the Sugar... and Utah in the Liberty. Texas in the Cotton, and VaTech in the Gator Bowl... Think back to 1989...
Everyone says "settle it on the field" but that "everyone" are pundits who have little, if any, real interest in College Football until this time of year (see: Lupica, Mike). They assume that everyone "wants" a playoff, but have't polled "everyone," or really anyone, to know one way or another. Is this really the biggest injustice in sports today? Is this all we have time to sit around and worry about?
12.05.2004
Y'know - all summer long we whined about the NBA players can't do anything but dribble and dunk while we watched them tank their way to the Bronze medal... So out of Sportscenter's Top 10 from last night (12/4) whadawe get? About 6 highlights of drives, dunks, and alley-oops. If these guys want to be Streetball, why don't they just go be Streetball, and leave basketball to people for whom a "pass" isn't something you do in you $500,000 car on the highway... I blame ESPN as much as the players. They're trying to get on the highlight shows, and the shows are obliging them. It's not like a football receiver who has to lay out for a ball that was thrown behind him and he makes a great catch because he has to. Dunks count just as much as layups, but layups don't make the hgihlights.
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