Biggest "Discoveries" of 2005

2005 as chronicled in WIRED

The only problem I have with this article is that it strays from reporting into political commentary, especially on the last item. Otherwise, this is a pretty good look at science over the past year.

Enough with Chris Simms already

When is the Chris Simms love-fest going to end? He flashes some talent in one game, and everyone falls all over themselves about him finally 'fulfilling his promise' until the next week, when he stinks again. How many times did Major Applewhite have to pull Simms' - and Mack Brown's - butts out of the fire at Texas? How many times has Chris Simms taken over the game at ANY level against even competition (dominating Baylor doesn't count)? Everyone wants to compare Simms to the Manning boys, but it's not even close. Chris Simms is lucky he's not in the Arena league or NFL Europe. If his last name was "Jones" instead of Simms, he'd be fighting for a third-string job with the Cardinals. He's Brad Johnson without the talent. He's Gino Torretta with a famous last name. He's Danny Wuerffel without the college resume. He's lousy. He's been lousy for 8 years. Get over it. His dad was great. The son is not. Sorry. But let's call it like it is and quit over-hyping a mediocre quarterback that keeps failing his way up because he's riding his dad's name.

George Bush would ruin this country to try and save it

CNN reporting on the NSA wiretap controversy
After The New York Times reported, and CNN confirmed, a claim that Bush gave the National Security Agency license to eavesdrop on Americans communicating with people overseas, the president said that his actions were permissible, but that leaking the revelation to the media was illegal.
I want to know who leaked it to the media, so I can give him/her a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Bush added: "Yesterday the existence of this secret program was revealed in media reports, after being improperly provided to news organizations. As a result, our enemies have learned information they should not have, and the unauthorized disclosure of this effort damages our national security and puts our citizens at risk."
Bullshit.
The risk to our citizens is clearly - CLEARLY - from a government who no longer believes it is accountable to them. If the only way to protect this country is to treat its citizens as dupes, idiots, and naive children, then we are cutting off our noses to spite our collective happy face. This is EXACTLY the watchdog function that the media should serve.

"If he needs a wiretap, the authority is already there -- the Federal Intelligence Surveillance Act," [Wisconsin Seantor Russ] Feingold said. "They can ask for a warrant to do that, and even if there's an emergency situation, they can go for 72 hours as long as they give notice at the end of 72 hours."
Exactly! The means of accomplishing the mission exist. Just because it doesn't conform to your idea of how the mission should be doesn't means you ignore what laready exists. If the President really does have this kind of power, then it's time for Congress to find its cojones and reassert its authority within the American government. The alternative is just too scary.

From Tyler...

He emailed this after receiving it from someone else:

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I don't know if this is ACTUALLY funny, but I think I understand more about football now.

If you don't know college football but know the Simpsons this will help understand the teams. If you do know football but don't know the Simpsons this will help you get to know the characters.

Georgia : Homer Simpson
Like Homer, the Dawgs are a good-hearted bunch who aren't always the most socially acceptable people in any given group, but they mean well. Ever since Vince Dooley surrendered the job of head coach, they've been hoping someone will call them "sir" without adding "you're making a scene," and though season after season seems to have been set up for breakthrough
success in recent years, they still manage to trip over something along the way. Which usually has something to do with . . .

Florida : Bart Simpson
Flippant, cocky, some dare call them "assholes," but they're the kind of guys who, even when they're not completely on their game -- which pretty much describes Florida ever since Spurrier left -- are still good enough to be envied by 90% of everyone else. Despite whatever shortcomings they may have, they're still a constant thorn in pretty much everyone else's side. Both are also frequently seen in blue shorts of some kind. And both have consistently managed to get the better of . . .

Tennessee : Sideshow Bob
Both Sideshow Bob and Big Orange Nation are convinced of their own superiority, though there's not much backing either of them up these days. Sideshow Bob has been spending most of his time in jail, while the Vols have been sucking wind on a 5-6 season (and spending a lot of time in jail). Two of the most easily dislikeable characters in their respective neighborhoods.

South Carolina : Edna Krabappel
Like Edna, the Gamecocks have gone a long time with very little to celebrate, and they've gotten used to crushing disappointment. Yet there's that kinda-sexy, kinda-trashy thing about both of them that tell you he could be really hot if only the right guy with the initials SS -- be it Seymour Skinner or Steve Spurrier -- came along.

Vanderbilt: Lisa Simpson
A lone voice of reason and intellect in a 'hood that is otherwise completely insane. She rarely garners much attention for her exploits, but yeah, she is gonna be your boss one day.

Kentucky : Ralphie Wiggum
Utterly, completely, laughably dysfunctional, and just as utterly, completely, laughably unaware of this situation (unless the UK administration honestly believes Rich Brooks is their ticket to the big-time). And now the 'Cats have to deal with NCAA sanctions on top of that. "You'll wear 'em until you learn, son."

LSU: Nelson Muntz
The schoolyard bully, LSU would just as soon kick your ass as look at you, and then laugh about it. Yet there's deep dysfunction lurking within that's always the chink in the armor. Residual anger over a deadbeat dad? Turnover issues? An inexplicable fourth-quarter collapse to Tennessee? An equally inexplicable crush on Lisa? Yeah, they're scary, but that doesn't make them invincible. Very complex characters both.

Alabama : Moe Szyslak
The crankiest, most dyspeptic fan base in all of college football, and the biggest complainers. Win or lose, there's something to fume about, usually a perceived lack of respect from everyone else. While Moe/Alabama is absolutely convinced that everyone else sucks, though, they also suffer from some deep-seated self-loathing. Yes, Alabama, you went 3-8 not that long ago. Yes, you got jilted by Dennis Franchione. But you're still better than dirt. Well, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. You can't compete with that stuff.

Auburn : Marge Simpson
Just as Marge has a long history with Homer, so does Auburn have a long history with Georgia; the Tigers and Dawgs have been inexorably linked ever since they played the Southeast's first college football game in Piedmont Park more than a century ago. They spar on a regular basis, and while Marge/Auburn frequently gets the better of her counterpart, she still feels underappreciated for her exploits. Every once in a while, this simmering resentment comes boiling to the surface, but Marge usually just solves this with a weekend at Rancho Relaxo. Auburn, regrettably, lunges for the fire hose.

Ole Miss and Mississippi State: Lenny and Carl, respectively
Perpetual sidekicks, occasionally good for a laugh, but they're almost certain to never make their way into the limelight. The Rebels and Bulldogs have a grand total of one appearance in the SEC championship game. Even Lenny and Carl can count on at least a little screen time in each episode.

Arkansas : Groundskeeper Willie
A loner, an outsider, a funny-talkin' sort who comes off as just plain weird to most other people. Yet there's just something indescribably dangerous about them that can be counted on to rear its ugly head every once in a while.

And a quick look around the country:

Southern Cal : Fat Tony DeMico
He is the Godfather, the man with the plan, the man pulling the strings. And if you've turned on ESPN in the last five months, you know there's absolutely no escaping his clutches.

Notre Dame: Montgomery Burns
Been around since the beginning of time; the amount of money and power he controls is massive, absurd, and quite frankly, a little scary. The kind of guy everyone in town loves to hate -- but they'd switch places with him in half a second.

Boston College : Waylon Smithers
Loves Montgomery Burns. Wants soooo bad to be Montgomery Burns. Ain't gonna happen. (Note: This is in no way intended as a knock on Doug Flutie, one of the most awesome people who ever lived.)

Texas : Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby
Powerful, attention-getting, glamorous, yet always in danger of being brought low by its unshakeable vices -- e.g. money, poontang, losing to Oklahoma.

Miami : Snake
A straight-up thug and proud of it. If you don't fear him, you're a fool; if you don't dislike him, you're just a dick.

Florida State: Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Oh, man, what a season. It's no cakewalk being an aging football coach, juggling a punchless offense and a growing nepotism controversy like so many juggling balls . . . two, I suppose. Still an authority figure, mainly because nobody else stepped up to take the job, but getting easier and easier to laugh at.

Virginia Tech: Krusty the Klown
Famous, powerful, living the kind of celebrity life anyone in his circle would gladly trade for. Yet each is haunted by his own demons of self-loathing -- Krusty is constantly worried he's going to be exposed as a no-talent fraud, while the Hokies are constantly worried they really are going to be pumping gas one day for the kids over in Charlottesville.

Ohio State: Drederick Tatum
Thugs. They may wear nice outfits, but they're still thugs.

Virginia : Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Went through long, difficult, trying ordeals to get from where they started out (the slums of India, a 32-77-1 record in the 1970s) to where they are now . . . which still ain't that good, unless you like working in a convenience store or spending your postseason on blue Astroturf. Then there's the whole mustache thing.

Michigan : Kent Brockman
Huge television draws both, and because of that, you just can't quite get away from either the Wolverines or Brockman, and they demand your attention. Yet neither is quite as relevant as they think. At least three losses in six straight seasons? Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on YOU, the viewers.

Texas A&M: Disco Stu
Once upon a time, both Stu and TAMU were forces to be reckoned with. Now they are sad shells of their former selves, regarded mostly with head-shaking derision.

Army/Navy: Kang/Kodos
In both cases, both of these guys are really on different planets compared to the rest of us. Yet any recruit who'd pass up a shot at NFL dollars for the chance to serve his country is pretty far beyond the rest of us, too.

Georgia Tech: Comic Book Guy
This one I shouldn't really have to explain.

Oklahoma : Superintendent Chalmers
Powerful guys who've risen to the top, or very near, but where do they go from here? Just as Chalmers harbors ambitions of running for higher office, wouldn't the Sooners love to go to a national-title game and not get their asses handed to them this time?

Penn State: Abe Simpson
Old school. Older-than-old school. At times they almost make you worry they're losing it, but even then they demand your respect. After all, have you won 357 D-IA games or fought with the Flying Hellfish in WWII? No? Then STFU, whippersnapper! (Came up with this independent of commenters, but since corroborated by numerous people.)

Wisconsin : Barney Gumble
Stout, hard-drinking, the life of every party -- yet even when things are going well, they're never very far from total collapse. (Also one of those great-minds-think-alike situations.)

Michigan State: Gil the Salesman
All together now: "Damn, that felt like a Big 10 championship season!" It always begins the same with these guys, so hopeful, so full of promise, but they always manage to blow it sometime before the deal is closed. Since Gil is supposedly based on Jack Lemmon's sad-sack character from the film adaptation of "Glengarry Glen Ross," we have some advice for the Spartans: Coffee is for closers.

Illinois : Milhouse Van Houten
Everything's coming up Illini! Yeah, sure it is. A sidekick, a second banana, a perennial also-ran. Even when good things happen for them, it ain't really that good, and thus they've become conditioned to accept mediocrity. Linked to Florida/Bart Simpson (q.v.).

BYU: Ned Flanders
Like Vanderbilt/Lisa Simpson, a lonely voice of reason and morality, Only waaaay more in-your-face about it. And white -- so very, very white. So white they make George Will look like Young Jeezy. So white they can be seen from space.

Utah: Maude Flanders
Basically Ned, but hotter.

UCLA: Troy McClure
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such recent embarrassing bowl losses as the 2004 Las Vegas Bowl or the 2003 Silicon Valley Classic." Straight-up Hollywood, still a headline-maker, but the celebrity sheen masks a distinct lack of substance -- McClure can't really act, while the Bruins can't really play any defense. In severe danger of being superseded by newer, hotter stars, such as . . .

Oregon : Rainer Wolfcastle
Suffers from some of the same shortcomings as its rival (acting/defense), yet their overall body of work has been more solid of late. And with Nike dumping all of that money into the Ducks' program, they can afford to sleep on top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.

Washington and Washington State: Patty and Selma Bouvier
Washington chose celibacy by hiring Ty Willingham, Washington State Had celibacy thrust upon it by being located out in the middle of f#@!ing nowhere. They may have been hot once, but while they may pop up and do something amazing every once in a while -- Wazzou by sneaking into a Rose Bowl, Selma by somehow marrying Krusty or Troy McClure -- life is Pretty sad and barren for them at the moment.

Stanford: Martin Prince
Smart. Quite often annoyingly so. Those who feel inferior because of This can console themselves with the knowledge that both Martin and Stanford. Will be grease spots in short order, at the hands of either a school bully or a Pac-10 team with a remotely competent offense.

Fresno State , Texas Christian, and Southern Miss: Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney
Nothing-to-lose ass-kickers from the wrong side of the BCS tracks. They're stuck in a dead-end situation, to be sure, but that doesn't mean they won't whip your ass and then laugh about it afterward.
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Security Levels

I got this on email, and still haven't stopped laughing

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

George Will - Still the smartest man in America

The campus war against recruiters
By GEORGE WILL
Washington Post

The entitlement mentality produces petulant insistence on an ever-higher ratio of rights to responsibilities. Unsurprisingly, this mentality flourishes on campuses, where tenured faculty and privileged students live entitled lives supported by the taxes and generosity of others. The mentality was on vivid display in the Supreme Court last Tuesday when an association of 36 law schools and faculties asserted an audacious entitlement.
Many schools bar military recruiters because the schools oppose the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that prevents openly gay people from serving in the military. The schools asked the court to declare unconstitutional, as a violation of the First Amendment protections of freedom of speech and association, the law that denies federal funds to any school that denies military recruiters the same access to students that any other employer enjoys.
Federal assistance to institutions of higher education was about $35 billion last year, so the schools flinch from the price tag on their gay rights principles, which in this case dovetail neatly with their anti-military prejudices. The schools cite the principle that government cannot condition receipt of a government benefit on the loss of a constitutional right. The government replies that Congress frequently makes the receipt of federal funds conditional on the recipient doing certain things to further a legitimate government interest, such as recruiting.
And the government denies that the law on recruiters’ access abridges schools’ rights of speech and association. The schools’ lawyer argued that it does because the “forced hosting” of recruiters amounts to a “crisis of conscience” over compelled and subsidized speech. The schools say they are compelled to communicate a message of support for the military’s policy regarding gays, and to subsidize the military’s message of disapproval of gays. But last week Chief Justice John Roberts said that “nobody” infers an academic institution’s support for the views and policies of every employer allowed to recruit on campus. And as Justice Sandra Day O’Connor noted, schools are free to communicate their moral and political stances constantly. Certainly schools are not bashful about doing so. But the court has held that “students may not be regarded as closed-circuit recipients of only that which the (school) chooses to communicate.”
During oral arguments last week, the schools had many occasions to wince. Regarding the schools’ theory that any conduct can be imbued with “communicative force,” Justice Antonin Scalia wondered whether the schools might also justify banning military recruiters during a war the faculty disapproved, because allowing the recruiters would be tantamount to the schools endorsing the war.
Or because the professors object to the military barring women from combat, or using land mines. The possibilities are as numerous as the professors’ reasons for interposing their moral sensibilities between Congress and its constitutional power to “raise and support armies.”
Furthermore, more than four other justices probably share Scalia’s incredulity concerning this implication of the schools’ argument: When an individual or institution gives as a reason for violating the law the fact that he or it wants to send a message, the violation acquires First Amendment protection. By such reasoning, a school barring blacks from campus could say its conduct is infused with an expressive purpose, hence shielded by the First Amendment.
The schools’ selective sensitivity about that amendment is amusing, given that many universities use speech codes to enforce “progressive” sensibilities and compel students to pay fees that finance speakers and other expressive activities offensive to many of those compelled. Schools eager to ban military recruiters from a few hours of access to students who want to meet them have faculties that expose students to a one-sided bombardment of political views. Furthermore, universities are nurseries of “progressives” who support campaign regulations by which government supervises the quantity, content and timing of political speech, and who favor public financing of campaigns, which requires millions of taxpayers to fund political advocacy they oppose.
A striking alteration of America’s political landscape since 1960 has been the marginalization — actually, the self-marginalization — of the professoriate. An inhospitable campus climate has prompted the growth of public policy think tanks and publications that sustain a conservative intelligentsia that helps elect and staff conservative administrations. And faculties have adopted increasingly adversarial stances toward an increasingly conservative public and its institutions.
Today’s schools bristle with moral principles that they urge upon the — so they think — benighted society beyond their gates. But as Roberts blandly reminded the schools regarding their desire to bar military recruiters: “You are perfectly free to do that, if you don’t take the money.”

Write to Mr. Will at georgewill@washpost.com.

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To remind us all of Robert Heinlein:
"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of ‘rights'… and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure."
Robert Heinlein, 1959

Who do we really care about

I wish I'd taken a screenshot last night.
CNN.com had a full-page splash of Richard Pryor, memorializing the foul-mouthed comedian who lost a long battle with cancer.
Oh, by the way, Sen Eugene McCarthy died, too.

You tell me who was more important to US history...

Stupid person's guide to life

Stupid Person's Guide to Life
From Ghostgirl - a blog I ran into while randomly clicking on blogs thru blogger.

Worthy of a Clio

Car Race

And will never get one.

Bonus props to anyone who knows where the music at the end comes from (yes, I do).

Who'd we piss off?

World Cup draw just happened -

We must've really angered the soccer gods, since we got Italy and the Czechs in the same group...

France might not win a game playing in our group.
They might not lose a game playing in their group (Switz, So Korea, Togo).
If we'd gotten France's group, we might've won it, and might've been able to beat France doing it.

Group C looks tough, with Argentina, Holland, Ivory Coast, and Serbia. But Argentina is schizophrenic, and Ivory Coast is a one-man show, and the Serbians are lucky to be there. The Dutch should walk through that one, but none of the other teams will make it past the final 8.
Brazil is clearly the best team in thier group, but 2d place will be a real fight with 3 evenly matched teams (Japan, Croatia, and the Socceroos).
Same thing with the Germans (Poland, Ecuador, and the Ticos).
And Mexico better hope the Portuguese help out and beat up Iran and Angola, because the Mexicans aren't good enough to roll through that group.

What are the odds

I'm sitting in the library trying hard to finish one of my final papers, and I'm eating a bag of M&Ms. Somehow, I pull 11 straight blue M&Ms out of the bag. 11 straight! I dumped a few out, and noticed they were all blue and wondered what was up. They kept coming out blue, until I got to 11. #12 was green, but 13-15 were blue, too...

Ah, Irony...

IWW
So there's this radical communist/anarchist group called the Industrial Workers of the World then envision themselves as an overarching "union" representing the entire working class on the planet. OK, it's ambitious, but nothing really wrong with it...
And they want to abolish the 'wage' system where the people employers pay people for doing work for them. Not sure I'm down with it, but OK - you can have your pipe dreams.
But here's the kicker: they charge dues! That's right - an organization devoted to abolishing the system that puts cash in your hands wants you to put that same cash in their hands so you can help them abolish the means of putting cash in your hands in the first place.

What's next?
"Fighting for world peace"?

OK Smart Guy, who are they?

Plus-One-sanity:
The "plus-one" concept, where the fifth game of the BCS format would be a championship game with two teams advancing from the first four bowl games, was considered in 2004.
Weiberg, the commissioner of the Big 12 and one of six witnesses Wednesday, testified that the "'plus-one' model is one that deserves review. It is not one, as of yet, that has had full opportunity for review."

OK, tough guy, who's the Plus-One?

Let's say the following happens:
Texas beats USC
FSU beats Penn St
Georgia beats WVU
Ohio St beats Notre Dame
Auburn beats Wisconsin
VaTech beats Louisville
TTech beats 'Bama
LSU beats Miami

Who's the Plus One?

Lemme guess, you're going to tell me that we need a combination of subjective human polls and "objective" computer rankings to determine who should face off on the "plus-one" National Title Game to End All Games.
Uh, isn't that what we do now? Why do we have to wait until after bowl season to decide this?

Don't like my hypotheticals? OK
Say Penn St beats FSU. They're #3, with one loss (to Michigan). If you go to a Plus-One, why does Penn St get the shot at a nat'l title game over the USC-Texas loser. One could easily argue that the best Plus-One game would be a rematch. After all, the Texas-USC loser lost to either the #1 or #2 team in the country, not #20-something (whatever Michigan snuck in as this week). But because they lost "late" instead of "early" the USC-Texas loser would be shut out of a Plus-One and forced to watch a (likely) inferior team take a shot at the title.

Plus-One isn't guaranteed to work any better than the current system. The key is that we have a system and its one all the coaches and players agreed to operate under. Yes, they did agree: they could play/coach at the I-AA level if they chose. The system is clearly laid out ahead of time and everyone knows how it operates. You don't like the merry-go-round, don't get on it.

Notre Dame = #6?

Colin Cowherd is ranting about how great ND is.

Notre Dame isn't any better than TCU. They just played USC close. Guess what, Fresno State played USC close.

Fresno State: Played 5 bowl teams (2-3), Played 6 non-bowl teams (5-1), including LaTech (7-4 but not bowling)
Notre Dame: Played 4 bowl teams (3-1), Played 7 non-bowl teams (6-1)
Auburn: Played 6 bowl teams (4-2), Played 5 non-bowl teams (5-0)
Georgia: Played 6 bowl teams (4-2), Played 6 non-bowl teams (6-0)
Miami: Played 7 Bowl teams (5-2), Played 4 non-bowl teams (4-0)
WV: Played 5 bowl teams (4-1), Played 6 non-bowl teams (6-0)
VaTech: Played 7 bowl teams (5-2), Played 5 non-bowl teams (5-0)
TCU: Played 4 bowl teams (4-0), Played 7 non-bowl teams (6-1)

Political truths from a football website

Fiu's Cavalcade of Whimsy
You just knew the Senator leading the charge wasn’t going to be from Maine … To all U.S. government officials: Once you figure out how to make the voting process for elected officials flawless and above any suspicion, and once you figure out how to get our brave troops home from Iraq, while also being sure the country won’t instantly collapse, and once you figure out why, as the Los Angeles Times has been reporting, the U.S. Defense Department is paying the Iraqi press to run false stories in order to reference them in an attempt to show the war is going well, and once you make sure that we’re all safe from terrorists and their dirty bombs, suicide bombers, threats to our mass transit system, biological weapons, kamikaze pilots, and any other diabolical schemes they can come up with, and once you figure out how to erase the federal deficit, figure out how to help all of those who can't get health insurance, figure out how to help those who can’t afford the overpriced, life-saving drugs they need, figure out how Ben Stiller is still getting movie deals, figure out how we’re going to rebuild/relocate New Orleans in a timely, efficient manner, and figure how I’ll get a dime of all the Social Security money my generation is whizzing away, then, and only then, can you watch a BCS game. You have no business investigating something as trivial as whether or not the BCS works.

The more you read this, the better it sounds...

Work = School?

The interesting psychological aspect of this is whether this sounds appealing because
(a) it's what we were raised with and where our earliest impressions come from
or
(b) because it's naturally appealing

nature v nurture...

Someone actually looked all this up

Did Al Gore "invent" the internet?

Attempting to debunk the oft-told lie...

Yo - Windozers! Kiss my butt!

Best damn computer, period.

And this isn't from some Mac fanboy, either...