That spiel made sense till last night when I watched the New England Revolution's Steve Ralson head a ball over his head toward goal; that semi-random action led to an Adam Cristman goal, the Revs' first for the night and Cristman's first all-time. It's not so much that Ralston consciously headed the ball with an assist to Cristman in mind; the action can more accurately be described as bonking the ball somewhere that seemed useful. Whether intended or not, that shows up as an assist to Ralston and, the more I think about it, the more fair that is.
Of course, there are "real" assists; in the same game, for instance, LA Galaxy midfielder Pete Vagenas played sharp pass against the grain - and through a thicket of defenders' legs - to teammate Kyle Martino; it was a spot-on, intentional pass and Martino slotted it home for the Galaxy's first goal. When people talk about assists, that's what they have in mind.
Even if Ralston's assist was more random, less skilled, etc. it falls under a kind of big umbrella concept: making shit happen. In a sense, that's what the assist stat should be: give it an acronym ("MSH's"?) to protect tender ears, but that's basically what's going on. The same principle applies on the defensive end as well. A well-time tackle (for instance, Frankie Hejduk picked Francisco Mendoza clean in the Columbus Crew v. Chivas USA game) could pick up the same statistical denotation.
Sure, this is imprecise and, sure, people will quibble about what really counts as an MSH, but we already quibble about assists and everything else under the sun so what's the harm? But the MSH fits a sport like soccer, in which so much positive activity cannot be readily quantified.
No, I don't think this will ever become an official stat - though I'd love to see league officials have to explain it to soccer neophytes. But it does help me look at Ralston's looming stroll into the league record books without wondering how many of those assists would require asterisks. The thing is, none of them do because all of them essentially say, "Let the record show that, on 113 occasions, Steve Ralston made shit happen."
Later that year, Grant Wahl made a case for MSH's in his wrap-up of the Champion's League final
Andrea Pirlo is total underrated class. Always steady, always hitting at least one or two breathtaking balls when his team needs them, Pirlo ratified the raves he got during last year's World Cup. His free kick that bounced off Inzaghi into the Liverpool goal could hardly have been planned, but he still served a cultured ball and gave it a chance to happen.
Let me rewrite that for you: "... but served a cultured ball and made shit happen."
And this year's preview of the World Cup includes an article about Clint Dempsey, the hard working American winger who is rapidly becoming a fixture in Europe. The coaches all agree that he's got the ability to make shit happen.
When Clinton Drew Dempsey, the U.S.'s most inventive and unpredictable soccer player, joined the national team in 2004, then coach Bruce Arena summarized his primary asset in three words: "He tries s---." It's an approach common in Latin America, where kids often learn the game on the streets, and rare among U.S. players, who are channeled into organized soccer from an early age. Dempsey's style is self-taught, intuitive, like a jazzman's. "It's a little bit of Pete Maravich," says U.S. coach Bob Bradley. "Clint's capable of making an attacking play that's a little different, that can create an advantage, that can lead to a goal. To have a player who can come up with something different at the right time, that's still such a special part of soccer."
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